I was watching older movies for no particular reason this last week. I don’t usually like older movies – I think I blew out my attention span from blowing up too many balloons or banging my head against walls or just by being me. That, or I’ve got a new movie sweet tooth and it’s hard for me to sit through meat’n’potatoes after seeing so many explosions and fancy special effects and car chases and skimpy outfits and other adreniline-inducing desserts. But I still have a soft spot for the old Classical Period Pieces of the big budget days, especially both Cleopatras. (Both the black-and-white and Liz Taylor’s version have something of their own to offer).

But I was thinking that the world could do with another Cleopatra movie. Especially one of those fancy temporally-displaced versions, Like Kenneth Brannaugh’s Hamlet or Romeo + Juliet. In particular, I was thinking of something along the lines of Pride & Prejudice meets The Matrix Reloaded. The Romans mores fit quite well with the starched-shirt snobbery and the target-chested soldiery of the British Empire (not to mention their intersection of imperial dominance), and the black, skin-tight latex looks suits the exotic, unnatural sensuality of mysterious Egypt. Of course, black leather also goes well with gold and snake motifs. Moreover, it is a well-established fact that Egyptian women often went topless, and this fits well with the Matrix look, while nicely counterpoising the bodiced repression of the Victorians. (I think the world is ready for a movie with topless Egyptian women. So long as it doesn’t air on TV during the superbowl). The image of a Cleo-Trinity grimacing while being wedged into a frilly, corseted Vicky-Roman dress to appear in Rome with Jules Caesar would make a good scene.

Of course, since we’re mixing up time periods anyway, give Jules Caesar a pair of semi-automatic pistols, make Octavian a computer nerd, and give Mark and Cleo a sub-domme relationship (literally, in the BDSM sense) when he’s under her influence in Egypt. And make Octavian jealous. Hmmm….

I could go on with a lot of ideas here, but I’m supposed to be helping Kim fix her world-famous lasagne.

Another movie idea when I come back…

(Actually posted 20 November.)